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Mothers and Fathers

from Ruminating by Posthuma

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about

Having lived an entire generation in Wisconsin, I want nothing more than to never see another winter again. And maybe someday that will be the case, but so far the ties of blood and love have always kept me from wandering too far for too long.

lyrics

Do you know how many times I've wanted to leave this city? Do you know how many times I've wanted to blow my brains into the lake? But I can't do any of those things. Because if I leave her, she can't bear it. I feel underappreciated by everyone and I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried clinical treatment, I've tried medication. Tried being in love, tried deeper meditations. All of these things and nothing gets better. I just wish that I could have one period of sustained happiness and stability without the floor completely falling out from under me. And I'm genuinely sorry if I upset you. I don't want to be this way. I'm so sorry for everything. We've done so many dumb things. But I fucking love you. How could I not? She looks just like you. You gave me my best friend and I'm so thankful for that. And I'm sorry for rambling. Goodnight. I love you.

credits

from Ruminating, released October 20, 2020

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Posthuma Madison, Wisconsin

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